Bothered or Not Bothered?

The new Dove advertisement has sparked polarity amongst people. There are heated debates on Twitter and all over online magazines. Are you bothered, or not bothered by it?

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“It” being the fact that the Dove campaign asks women to choose a door to walk through: one being “Beautiful”, one being “Average.” Dove’s original idea was to boost women’s confidence in their looks, to #ChooseBeautiful as in, choose to believe that you’re beautiful. There is nothing wrong with that, but I was slightly perturbed by the visual representation: there were only two doors to choose from, I must be either beautiful or average — both being adjectives about my looks.

If there were more adjectives above the doors I might be happier in the choices: Beautiful, Feisty, Insanely Clever, Occasional Smartass, Loyal, Funny, Responsible, etc…

This article sums up my idea, I’ll highlight two points that are especially well-written:

These ads each depend on the assumption that in order to be happy, empowered, or confident, women need to feel beautiful. Dove wants us to talk about why women don’t feel beautiful. I want to talk about why that’s the only question they think is worth asking.

I don’t measure my worth by my physical appearance. In fact, I don’t measure it by any single criterion. I value being a well-rounded person with many virtues and some flaws (which I like to think make me interesting). It would be nice to be beautiful, just like it would be nice to be wealthy or to be able to solve complicated math problems in my head, but those are not the cards I have been dealt. I would rather embrace being average-looking and get on with celebrating all the other great things I am than spend my time and energy trying to align myself more closely with a beauty standard that is simply not relevant to my life.

What are your thoughts on this?

(By the way, Bitch Media is awesome, awesome, awesome. Subscribe to it already!)

1 Weird Tip to Help You Never Get Stuck with a Loser Anymore

Let’s go goofy today, shall we? Here is my 1 weird tip to help you never, ever, get stuck with a loser anymore.

Get a pet animal.

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No.

Seriously.

Hear me out.

Random case in point: you have sustained a crush for a hot guy who only treats you as a Friend with Benefits. He never calls you or texts you, he very seldom entertains you when you want to confide in him about something, and is always ready with perfect excuses as to why he cannot “be there for you” when you do in fact need him. But, always, after weeks and even months of silence, he’d suddenly text you at night with a cheerful, “Hey baby, miss you. Wanna come over for a drink and catch up? Around midnight?”

The sane girl would scoff at the message, promptly forget all about it, or if she feels playful, reply with something like, “Sure. Come pick me up in a limousine and take me to some place grand for that Tequila shot, and then maybe I’ll get changed and come downstairs.”

But what does the wrongfully emotionally invested girl do? She gets all warm and fuzzy inside, feels that surely he had feelings for her all along, and suddenly believes that the world is full of hope. She ditches all her plans, ignores sleep, gets a bath, goes through a long list of grooming rituals, and then rushes over (paying for a taxi herself) to that loser’s house to offer herself to be used conveniently as his (obviously) last-minute one night stand.

Pathetic.

Women have a tendency to nurture. You may not have children, but you still find people to nurture, to pamper them with love. Sometimes, you shower people who do not deserve your love with all your unconditional love. It is completely wrong, completely illogical, but women tend to do that. It is similar to seeing a wet kitten on the street, and you simply cannot not pick it up, bring it home, and nurse it back to health.

It works out well for a wet kitten, but not for men.

The only woman in the world who can safely pamper a man, even when he does not deserve it, is his mother.

Please don’t act like his mother.

Be the Goddess that he pursues. Be the woman whose love and affection are a privilege for him to earn.

To earn: that is the key point.

Now, if you have a pet animal at home, e.g. a cat who waits for you all day long just to snuggle into your lap, purr while you pat him, and looks up at you lovingly with his perfectly feline goo-goo eyes, you must be inhuman if you do not want to smother him with love. But the great difference is: it is ok to shower your pet cat with love. Show him unconditional love. Show him too much love, even. It’s fine.

When that sucker calls or texts you again, look over at your hopeless little kitten who relies 100% on you for food, for affection and happiness, and then glance back at the pathetic attempt of a Booty call by the loser.

What do you do?

You snap back to your sane self.

Lavish your love on someone who truly will never manipulate you, someone who deserves all your unconditional love (pet cat, rabbit, or tortoise if you wish), and you will see your womanly need to nurture reach a healthy equilibrium with a warranted outlet.

I’m not kidding. My cat always keeps me in check when I almost treat some stupid asshole too kindly.

Incidentally, Happy Easter everyone! :-)

 

Rope Musings

I just like the ideas of ropes, you know? The idea of him tying me up; his hands meticulously wrapping the rough hemp rope over my skin, around the precise joints and curves that he wishes to control and hold. It is a tangible demonstration of his power over me when my body becomes his plaything: it always has been, but more so with the ropes. He calculates and envisions how he wants me to be restrained, how I am to be presented on his bed: a visual illustration of his ownership and my submission.

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(Pic credit: Bigstock Photos)

Physical pleasure is a given. I have never feared my body or the feelings that I can incite in myself. I have known since a young age how to attain ecstasy, but the shadowy parts of my imagination has kept taunting me about how to escalate that pleasure, how to reach and surpass limits which would make sex even more extraordinary that it already is.

The coarse friction of the rope on my body, especially as the hoops circle my wrists and elbows, holding them into place, turns me on and ignites a primal desire inside me as nothing else can. The warmth of his fingers when he ties the knots and the heat of his breath along the tiniest hair on my limbs cause goosebumps along the trail of exposed skin that he marks on my curves, preparing me. The concentration in his eyes is mesmerizing. Each of his calm inhale and exhale is a manifestation of his disciplined lust for me.

The moment when I first realized that I had found my match was stunning. The excitement and the terror that such a perfect thing can happen sometimes still strikes a fearful chord in my soul. I had given up hopes of ever meeting a man like him, because it had seemed too unlikely, the possibility too far-fetched. But we met. The Universe had been kind. The precise second when that click in the heart and mind synchronized, all the mysteries in the world made sense. It does not matter that neither he nor I are “free” in society’s terms, because our bond defies that. We are not above the law or morality, but for the nature of what we share, such rules and considerations are irrelevant.

I would never scare my Dom away with too passionate a sentiment, too outrageous a request, too wild a fantasy, or too lustful a need. Nothing is out of bounds. When we cross a limit, it is not terrifying, and unlike other sick addictions, we do not face emotional emptiness after each session. There is no fear, no limits, and no obligations.

Loyalty, faithfulness and trust are redefined. Our fidelity lies unquestionably with each other. Nothing is forbidden because our loyalty is assured and unmistakable. Don’t judge us.

 

On Female Strength

Women are powerful. We are able to accomplish so much nowadays that just 40 years ago, my mother would have rolled her eyes and said, “You wanna what?” Female strength is undeniable, but let me touch on a little detail that sometimes we tend to forget.

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We are strong enough to be self-sufficient, self-reliant and basically doing every single thing ourselves, yes. But that doesn’t mean we have to be strong and alone all the time. Part of feminine charm and strength lie in the fact that we can be soft. We can gently, subconsciously but very powerfully, suggest others (yes, including men, why not?) to do things for us.

It is fun, and perhaps even more powerful to have other people slaving themselves over us even when, or especially when, we are perfectly capable of doing everything ourselves.

Leave room for men to please you and earn your approval, ladies. Even when we do everything so much more efficiently than they do. ;-)

Happy Women’s Month, everyone!

 

11 Random Facts about Anna Bayes

Anna Bayes writes, Anna Bayes reads, Anna Bayes over-thinks everything entirely too much. But, what else? Allow me to share 11 random facts about yours truly here.

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  1. I never wear sunglasses.
  2. I read every single book about dragons as an instructional manual up till the age of 8.
  3. I have lucid dreams at least once a week.
  4. The first comic book I read was Garfield the cat.
  5. My father was an expert in keeping jellyfish and Himalayan cats.
  6. I have an Exotic Shorthair cat as a pet.
  7. I prefer Tequila over Bailey’s.
  8. I had my first bottle of beer (full bottle) when I was seven: result of a dare.
  9. I was a virgin until age 19.
  10. My favourite day of the week is Thursday.
  11. I met my best friend when I was 14: we sang in harmony to every song on the radio together until she left for New York (we are still close).

Hope you enjoyed it! ;-)

 

Special Spotlight: Elodie Parkes with Rescuing Cade

Please welcome the lovely and sexy Elodie Parkes with her new BDSM story!

Rescuing Cade

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Cade’s trying to get over a broken heart when his friend Jack takes him off to a nightclub, named only, The Club. Although at first Cade is shocked by the place he meets Marissa. It’s not long before he and Marissa get together, but under the pressure of expectations from, The Club, and Marissa’s fear of commitment, they’re both running in opposite directions.

Gorgeous Cade has touched Marissa’s heart in ways she doesn’t want to admit.

Lovely Marissa has lifted Cade’s sadness and opened his heart to love again.

The trouble is — someone has to give a little. Who’s it going to be?

Inspiration behind the story:

I was asked to write a story for an erotic romance anthology. Almost immediately I had my character, Cade, form in my head and a love story for him, but then I was informed the anthology would be BDSM. I thought I’d have trouble with the genre, but the editor of the proposed anthology said, ‘give it a go’. I began to adapt the love story in my mind for the character Cade, thinking I’d have to consider the plot for a short time, but only a few days later the anthology was cancelled. By then Cade was so real to me and a story with a sprinkle of the genre, BDSM, was firmly in my mind, so I wrote it.

The story is much longer than I originally thought it might be, especially when it was going to be for an anthology, and the romance conflict arc is now about both Cade and my heroine, Marissa. As usual, I fell in love with my characters and couldn’t stop writing until they reached their HEA.

I did a little research for this story because I didn’t know much about the type of club Jack, Cade’s friend, takes him to. Once I no longer needed to place emphasis on dominance and submission, the story unfolded easily, interweaving with the original love story I had for Cade when he first began whispering in my ear.

With scorching hot love scenes, tender moments, a dash of angst and a splash of humor this is Cade’s journey to love again.

I hope readers enjoy it.

Read an excerpt (18+ rating):

The lights were low and Marissa took a seat at an empty table close to the small group of people. Strategically placed, she took in the delicious sight that was Cade, only a yard away now.

Blue eyes, mmm, my favorite. Look at those lips, made for kissing, biting, sucking. She cast her eyes over his ass and thighs. She soaked up the sight of his handsome jaw line and her eyes flicked to his groin, where she assessed the hang of his suit pants and licked her lips at the promise of a big cock. Holy hell, he’s gorgeous. I’d like him on a collar and leash waiting for me to slap his ass and fuck him senseless. I’d like to slip a blindfold on him and run a feather over his cock to see it jerk to life. I’d like to tie him to a chair, suck him almost to orgasm, and then leave him to beg for release. Wonder if he’s dom or sub?

As Marissa considered Cade’s preference, he turned and looked straight into her eyes.

A huge stab of sexual excitement throbbed in her pussy. With her clit buzzing, she leaned a little forward to smile at Cade.

He looked away.

Marissa saw him gaze around the room. She watched as his shoulders slumped.

The room was large and divided by obvious walkways. A small dance floor held writhing couples, dangerously close to each other, some half-naked. Doms occupied the tables with their Subs in various scenes, all taking their pleasure without concern. Other Doms sat in the low leather lounges watching. It was all much the same as usual. One Dom fucked his Sub from behind, one hand fisted in her hair, and the other gripping her jaw turning her face to kiss and bite her lips. A Sub straddled her Dom, her hands held high above her head tied with a satin ribbon, as the Dom took his fill of her breasts.

Marissa heard his growl.

“Don’t you come until I say you may … I want you across the table. You’ll come on my fingers and then my cock. Do you understand? I might have to punish you again.”

The Sub’s whispered answer must have been to his liking. He kissed her tenderly.

Marissa looked away. Her pussy creamed and a sigh of appreciation escaped her. Marissa loved sex. She liked to be in control, although she’d scened with a Master, a friend, when she needed release. Her role in The Club was as a Domme, but she was vanilla, the specialist in helping newcomers. Everything she did, she designed to bring maximum pleasure to her Sub whilst simultaneously taking it herself. She enjoyed the control she wielded. It suited her to be the one with the power, and in her mind, the choice to walk away.

The Club had been open for more than a decade and was considered one of the best in the country. Safety was their priority, that and pleasure. To Marissa’s knowledge, no one left The Club after seeking a niche there and never came back.

Marissa found her gaze straying back to Cade.

He stood awkwardly by the table where Jack finger-fucked his current Sub. She laid back with her legs wide apart, her dress up around her waist, and her wrists tied over her head with a blue satin scarf. If she’d worn panties to visit The Club, there was no sign of them now.

Marissa watched the Sub squirm, whimpering for release.

Jack shook his head. “Not yet, sweetheart, I’m enjoying your lovely pussy. Your cream’s running down my palm. I’m going to lick it up and then I’ll think about letting you come. Are you enjoying showing my guest what a good girl you are?”

The Sub murmured, her breath hitching as Jack bent and thrust his tongue into her pussy.

“Yes, sir, it’s exactly how I hoped it would be.”

Marissa’s pussy drenched her panties. She licked her lips.

Cade lurched around and took a step toward her table.

He looked unseeing right into Marissa’s eyes, the expression on his face a glaze of pure confusion, and then he passed by heading to the bar in the corner.

Marissa watched him take a sip of the iced water he’d ordered, then she too got up and walked away from that part of The Club where sex soaked the air with erotic perfume, and the sounds of orgasm played havoc with her own desires.

Copyright Elodie Parkes, Evernight Publishing 2015

Buy links:

Amazon | Amazon UK | All Romance | Evernight Publishing | Bookstrand

About Elodie:

Elodie Parkes is a British author writing romance, erotic, contemporary, and often with a twist of mystery, paranormal or suspense. Her books are always steamy, cool stories and hot love scenes.

Elodie lives in Canterbury with her two dogs. She works in an antique shop by day and writes at night, loving the cloak of silent darkness that descends on the rural countryside around her home.

Elodie writes for Hot Ink PressMoon Rose PublishingEternal PressSecret Cravings, Evernight, and Siren

She has also released titles as an individual indie author.

Find Elodie online:

Blog | Tumblr | Facebook | Twitter | Google + | Pinterest | YouTube | Amazon USA | Amazon UK | Smashwords | B&N | ARe | Bookstrand | Evernight | TRR | ManicReaders

 

Masturbation is Key

Masturbation is key. Key to what? I’d like to argue: happiness, confidence and motivation to succeed.

(Pic credit: Jules Richard, Wiki commons)

Sounds like a huge claim? Not really.

Even if you have a great lover and are in a loving, happy relationship, you are still masturbating at least once in a while, no? There is nothing wrong with it, it’s almost similar to the fact that you’d still like to have dinner alone or with friends once in a while, and not always only with your significant other. Yes, I am aware that meals and sex are extremely different, but you get my drift.

No one can fully satisfy you sexually, except yourself.

Your man or woman can learn your body’s trigger points, but you are the only one who can truly, fully control to what extent you feel pleasure. Take that tiny line of hair at the back of your upper arm, for example. Your lover can caress that lovingly, but you are the only one who can touch it and make yourself tingle just right. No one else has that power.

Sexual satisfaction isn’t everything, perhaps, but it constitutes a very large part of happiness.

When you can give yourself as much sexual pleasure as you want, you are not only happy, you feel confident about yourself. Because even sex, the most mysterious but oh-so-satisfying magic is yours. You have the formula to make it happen, as much and as often as you want. What could be more confidence-boosting than that? This confidence makes you believe that you can succeed, even in the elusive area of the arts or creation.

Take the photo above for example. Do you feel good enough about yourself to stand naked amongst a room full of people, whether they are clothed or not? It does not matter if you have a rocking body or not; it is about your confidence in your body. The numbers (inches, dress size, whatever) do not matter. It is how you carry yourself that matters.

Success comes from an almost maniacal optimism and egocentric belief in yourself, your idea, your desire and your plan to succeed. So, yes, I would say that masturbation creates the motivation I need to succeed.

Far-fetched? Maybe. But I know I can give myself an euphoria unlike any other with just my fingers and my limitless imagination. That power makes me believe I can achieve anything.

 

Brag of the Day: Ginny’s Lesson is Featured on Buzzfeed

Brag of the day: Ginny’s Lesson, a lesbian light-BDSM tale by yours truly, is featured in an article on Buzzfeed. Pardon me while I swoon, skip around and giggle my head off. The article title is making my jaw drop all the way to the basement: 9 Erotica Books That Should Be More Famous Than “Fifty Shades Of Grey”.

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I am in awe.

I am extremely grateful.

Everyone, go follow the article writer, Julia Pugachevsky and grab those awesome books on the list!

And, of course… a bit of shameless self-promotion: grab a copy of Ginny’s Lesson on Amazon too! ;-)

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kisses,

Anna